I painted my nails and now I can’t get a snack or change the laundry. I didn’t think this one through.
so my grandma made me a promise that if I start studying for my trainers license again and pass the test she’ll buy me a plane ticket to go down to florida and visit my trainer for a week or two (depending on how long I can get off of work) either this year or next year, probably next year because my trainer will be coming back up here again for the spring/summer.
eating away my feelings because i can.
I can’t do this. I can’t listen to the fighting. I want to go home.
that very awkward moment when I indirectly cause my boyfriend’s parents to fight.
uhm.. maybe I should just go back home because he’s not even here so I’m just hiding away in his room listening to them argue.
i told myself i would never be in one of these relationships. i would never let anyone control me and tell me what i could or couldn’t do, and who i could or couldn’t see.
look where it got me. i almost lost everything because of it. the thing that hurts the most is i fucking gave him everything and he threw it back in my face.
I just want to feel happy again.
.. love how I can’t even be feeling sad and down without being accused of keeping something from him.
i want to go back in time.
.. this was not the night i planned. cause sitting on the floor in my room bored out of my mind while you sleep is exactly what i wanted to do.. i totally didn’t want to go out and hang with the people we were supposed to have plans with tonight anyways.
MY TRAINER IS CURRENTLY LOOKING AT BARNS. SHE’S COMING BACK TO TRAINING AND TEACHING AND OMG I’M FREAKING OUT. I TOLD HER SHE COULD USE RUDY, AND SHE’S GUNNA USE HER THOROUGHBRED AND AHHH PLEASE LET THIS WORK OUT I MISS THE WHOLE BARN SCENE SO MUCH.