i told myself i would never be in one of these relationships. i would never let anyone control me and tell me what i could or couldn’t do, and who i could or couldn’t see.
look where it got me. i almost lost everything because of it. the thing that hurts the most is i fucking gave him everything and he threw it back in my face.
I just want to feel happy again.
.. love how I can’t even be feeling sad and down without being accused of keeping something from him.
i want to go back in time.
.. this was not the night i planned. cause sitting on the floor in my room bored out of my mind while you sleep is exactly what i wanted to do.. i totally didn’t want to go out and hang with the people we were supposed to have plans with tonight anyways.
MY TRAINER IS CURRENTLY LOOKING AT BARNS. SHE’S COMING BACK TO TRAINING AND TEACHING AND OMG I’M FREAKING OUT. I TOLD HER SHE COULD USE RUDY, AND SHE’S GUNNA USE HER THOROUGHBRED AND AHHH PLEASE LET THIS WORK OUT I MISS THE WHOLE BARN SCENE SO MUCH.
now that was a fucking low blow. i can’t believe you took it there.
oh okay not calling out of work because jeff is the manager right now. well fuck, time to stock up on supplies to get me through this going to be terrible night at work.
i get to watch the cutest puppy three days a week. so. fucking. awesome.
also debating calling out of work because I feel like shittt. ):
hellz yeah getting $50 for letting out and playing with my neighbor’s puppy 3x a week. Basically have free reign of the dog and can bring her over to play with tanner whenever I want. so excited!
Lets just pretend this really isn’t awkward right now…